Lactose intolerance

Yesterday my stomach hurt
today my stomach hurts
and if tomorrow comes
my stomach will hurt

Damn the fool who didn't begin drinking milk
in some western african village
if only you'd realized sucking the white stuff
out of a cow's udder would allow your descendants to
eat pizza and ice-cream
with impunity

Damn the enzymes in my stomach
for you are useless and lazy enzymes
enzymes not fit to do menial work at 7-11

Damn my immune system
for you are like an out of control police force
putting the smackdown on innocent bystanders
like chocolate, cheese and crème brûlée
raising my histamine to ung-dly levels

And damn my self control
for you are constantly missing in action
like taxi cabs when it's cold november night
and I have to go to the bathroom.

Labels: milk