Sleep to dream

This morning I felt like I woke up
I really did wake up, I guess
but it felt like I was still asleep
I prefer believing that I never really woke up
because in my dreams I can fly,
and that might come in handy one day


ps: I found myself sitting with my arm on my head today, not entirely uncomfortable


The stones. scattered like child's toys,
reflect the cool purple light of the sun.
To know loss is to know,
no matter how unremitting in its beauty,
that this moment will be lost
among the pebbles of banality
before the sun rises anew
The faces cherished at dawn,
mere smudges at dusk.

I wish someone was there too so they could remind me.


the egyptians loved cats
when the jews left mitzrayim,
we must have taken them
along with all the gold and silver
israel is covered with them.

they breed like... rats?

Going to Tel Aviv tomorrow
to get my lappy looked at
wish me luck

I've been saying tehillim for my laptop
is that ussar?


I've been trying to learn hebrew
ani rotze "to die".
most of the guys here had bar mitzvahs...
they may not have gone to shul afterwards
but this isn't their first time
on the hebrew bandwagon
and I'm chasing the wagon down the street

Israelis are crazy drivers
when I call someone a crazy driver
it really means something
as I believed that I held the crown
until I got off the plane
I just watched a woman reverse
up a street make and illegal turn
and crash into a parked car
it's that extra bit
of the holiness of the land
shining through... *sigh*


I feel a little crazed
twelve hour days
are not like learning
after work
with Jason or Craig
this is an intellectual place
no brainwashing
light on the hashkafa
so instead of sarcastic and bitter
I feel out of my depth and slow.


last night
I went to a chassidic wedding
the "Yeshiva Shuffle",
a dance favored by frum Jews everywhere,
is usually just dumb walking
in a circle...
but not so with chassidim
it starts with the shuffle;
and ends in some serious
getting down
Of course, I forgot my camera.

Suggiyah #1 done

Oh wait,
did I say "done"
I meant suggiah one

In other news,
my laptop is kaput,
so if I haven't emailed you
it's because I hate using
the thing that my yeshiva
calls a computer lab

this week

I have been sick
the bacteria of this land
see my body (or specifically my nasal cavities)
as their own
Holy Land
hopefully my T-Cells
don't do avodah zarah
because we all know
how that ends
Or even better
they get sick of the customer service
(like I am)
and take a plane somewhere else

I am going to start writing
my shabbos dvar torah
on wednesday
and spam people for comments
you have been warned

Someone read this

"Deep down, beneath the bluster and machismo, men are simply afraid to say that what they're truly looking for in a woman is an intelligent, confident and dependable partner in life whom they can devote themselves to unconditionally until she's 40."
I've always thought this is true.
Read the rest of the article
Stolen from "Orthodox Jewish Singles"...

they fit finally

I bought my tefillin
a few months ago
but until today, each morning
my arm nearly fell off

Today they FIT
hazak baruch
if I don't say so myself


First shabbos in yerushalayim
I walked from Beit HaKerem to Har Nof
and I was thinking
what's so strange?
Why does this feel wierd
then I realized
no cars running
no shops open
no music blaring
no cell phones
no money
no honking
none of the things of the week

I went to my Rosh Yeshiva's
nice meal
but someone was getting "set up"
two girls, both the perfect age
for the only guy at the table dating
the hard part is picking out who
he was getting set up with


I wonder why this
place had a bunch of numbers
written on the wall
The Riddler probably lives inside
and pops out
to scare random
chareidi people...
but not on shabbos because that would just be mean

Guten Shabbos


for me,
shabbos has always started
with the end of work.
perhaps I cooked the night before
or cleaned my house before work;
but, for me
shabbos is a friday night thing.

but it's not!
shabbos begins
when you finish maariv
on thursday night
when the bakers begin baking,
when the activities of life,
turn to shabbos kodesh...

walking the streets of Jerusalem
this morning
I know what shabbos smells like

Matchmaker matchmaker

I always think
when I go to the Hareidi neighborhoods
that at any moment
the people will break into
dance and song
like in some musical.
to me,
their lives aren't "real"
but to be honest
they are living what life is for
much more so than I
if you follow H' way
your life is simple and happy
and that's what's "real"
but I'm a child of the west,
so I crave complication

Kotel, take 2

Today I davened shacharis
at the kotel
random sounds and confusion,
for the pesukei and shema...
but then the amidah comes
and all is quiet

only problem is that
the ashkenaz baal tefilla
is the most quiet,
least colourful
of all the nusachim
*sigh* if only the tamani guy was right
and I really did belong in their minyan

I play it off

So I'm in gemara shiur
and while I'm paying attention
all I can think in my head is:
"what happened to macy gray?"
"I liked that 'goodbye when I choke' song"
voice of teacher
and a gezera shava is...
macy gray
"I play it off but I'm dreaming of you"
rabbi yehudah omer...
I try to say good...

Just a bunch of Jews

No I haven't gotten that cynical,
What happens when you mix a guy who's late to everything, two tons of baggage and a plane flight with chassids that speak only yiddish...
I don't know, but I'm having a good time.

Except that my bag exploded and I'm eating through my spending money like I'm a Somalian at a banquet.

I got on my plane thanks to Gmaps, a brother with a fast internet connection, and my parents... Not in that order, but if you can't tell, we got a little lost. When I finally got on the plane, I changed seats with a guy who wouldn't sit next to women and had started to hold the plane up, handed out bagels to people that forgot to check the "kosher" box when they ordered their tickets and had a great conversation with a swiss lady with a nail coming out of her lower lip (she'd never met religious Jews, so I was her "dummies" guide although I still don't know how they get their peyos to look that good).

On the plane to Israel I sat next to a guy starting the z'man (school year) at the Brisk Yeshiva... We learned parshas Noach together although it was really me listening to him explain the rashi in my artscroll. He learned in Lakewood New Jersey but he doesn't know the one person I know there; which isn't really unfortunate because I don't really know the person that I name-dropped and a conversation about him would be difficult.

Israel is a pretty place, like the southwest with a little more water and brown people that speak slightly more english. The hills are pretty, the city is historic, and the water is deadly; if you have my stomach. I registered for classes then set off to buy school supplies for the first day (which is today, here incidentally, it's 2:19 AM).

It went just the same way it did in college; except that to buy my books I went into a part of the city that looks pretty much the way it did when bronze weapons were high tech (that's a huge exaggeration, but I like the sound of it; so I'm keeping it).

Saw "The Kotel" (for those who aren't shiach; I mean the Western wall, the Wailing wall, or the the thing that people keep sticking paper into the cracks of) and was pleasantly "whelmed"; not over or under, just "whelmed". I had the best falafel ever and picked up fresh pastries from Angel's. The most important words in hebrew are rega (wait) and slicha (pardon or forgive me). Depending on how you say rega you can mean "just a moment" or F-off... I got the latter from a man who was having more trouble with english than I initially thought.... the question is, can something still be good times just because it's in hebrew? I was so excited that I knew what he was saying that I forgot he was mad.

But I haven't said the best thing yet, like half the guys at my yeshiva are English, every time they say "my stomach's gone all won-ky" I giggle like a school-girl. So take that Hamas.
I'm off to single handedly fix the peace process and then I'm going to resolve every machloches in the gemara; so I've got to run.

cars: 5 nigel:0

I was told a joke about how the women here are fierce and the men are sweet... I think it's about frosted hair but I still don't get it.