The zman is over!
the zman is over!
Accomplished:
moved up three shiurim
able to (slowly) read Rashi
started to like being in yeshiva
so off of yaffo
in one of those squirrelly streets
near the old city
I walked into a hipster bar
after months of living in books
it's refreshing to hear the
off-key stylings of
a boy and his trombone
Labels: bars
Lately
I've been feeling
disconnected
lost
in a malaise
my rosh yeshiva
prescribed a regimen
of doing "non-kadosh"
activities
and not killing
my yiddishkeit
with all night
chavrusas
so I started writing again
and taking sketchbook
expeditions
to coffeeshops
and he was right
but now I drink
too much coffee So I'm in the park
watching the frumdating
and sketching
just when I'd almost finished
one of my "models"
walked up to me:
"מה אתה רוצה!"
oh no
*what's the infinitive for "to draw"?*
*לימשוך?*
*aarghhh!!!*
so I pointed and pantomimed
the girl he was on a date with
liked the picture
so I gave it to them...
next time I'll go in camouflage
ok,
maybe that was a bad idea
either I'm getting old
or the midrash about
reish lakish really is true
and it's not only my eyes
that are going bad
my legs=pain
Labels: getting old, legs
it's the end of the zman
and as much as
I'd like to say that I'm hardcore
And never leave the "beis"
but the last week
has been filled with
skiving off
of all sorts
today I went back in time
to Geulah.
except on this trip back in time
the locals had cellphones...
Why is that still weird to me?
Quote of the day yesterday (not me):
I just said "nigga" in the beis... I've really gotta stop listening to goyishe music...
While the crowd is waiting for the final kiss
The one which allows them to sleep well
We'll walk along our own path
The one which will lead us to our own blessing
But we need hints before we get tired
We need speed before we lose pace
We need a hint to know we're on the right track
José Gonzaléz - Hints
I'll be 25 in a month and a half
I'm sleeping in a room with three other guys
I have no money, investments, or otherwise
and I'm not sure I'm happy
but I'm not sad
so I guess it's all okay
Labels: hints
Love comes from giving
Giving increases connection
Connecting creates happiness
Happiness increases giving
Those given are those loved
I dance at weddings.
I didn't used to,
because I get embarrassed
of what people will say.
It makes me uncomfortable
when it's assumed that
genes and heredity
are from where
the movements stem;
when it was going to clubs
and "practicing" when I heard
a good song alone in my apartment,
But now I dance at weddings...
because no matter
why people think I dance
it makes them happy.
Why is it when
faced with sadness
I don't embrace it
All around me
there are those
torn by grief
hunched over in sympathy
reflections of the
dark painting before us
and I'm a blank wall
stuck beneath layers of plaster
The paper in my hand
was supposed to guide
me through the dusty alleyways
But I was lost, until i turned the corner
and stepped into the darkened house
to sit and hear
the stories of those no longer with us
I lived today like I was asleep
davened. ate. learned.
but never really felt really here
I wonder why some days feel like that
people say it's just because I don't sleep enough
but I wonder if one day I'll wake up
and never really have been here
learn. eat daven.
and wake up, living somewhere else
i miss having my own apartment
not because I love paying rent
I just wish I could be
completely alone
or completely at home
again
sitting here just playin' in deep end
trying to suss out all the cardinals on the tile floor
up top I struggle with the waves
wish I was at home in this cave
'cause down here a breath would be the death of me
A homeless russian dancing at the bus stop
I spared a shekel and danced a little to a song no one knows
Sometimes while I'm so far from home
I rather spend my nights all alone
But you know I love you still, my dear
So when the morning breaks
i'll be out here dancing the shake
finally comfortably at home with this
thinking a-bout living the future
now the ground I'm sitting down on has calmed
life is longer reading your own books
but it's better knowing how you look
'cause the fashion is all drab these days
so don't be reassured
sometimes I just get adured
'cause I'm tryin' to hoe a road my own
Don't worry, even I don't think it's good
Labels: poem
